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Chip 7
ChipBy Greg BowdenChapter
he started school we fell into a comfortable weekday routine. He was at school
a good part of the day and my muse sat on my shoulder for a lot of it, happy I
guess for my attention and ease. The book was going well.Chip,
being the guy he was, made friends easily and soon found himself in an after
school study group. The other kids at the school were evidentially fairly
serious about both their art and their academics. Chip just naturally fell into
the same mind set.We
went to the gym on most Saturdays, Chip having gotten special dispensation from
Bernie. After Chip talked him into it Bernie said to me, “Well, I guess he’s
mature enough to handle anything he might see or hear.” Little did he know.Jack
and Carlos invited us for dinner a couple of weeks after Chip started school.
Carlos was experimenting with Saturday morning hours, presumably to make up for
taking Mondays off so we went directly from the gym to his office.The
ride out to Jack and Carlos’ was more relaxed than the last time, partly
because traffic was lighter and partly because Carlos let Chip play with the
navigation system. As we Young Lolita approached the house Carlos said to Chip, “Your
biggest admirer will be with us for dinner again tonight.”Chip
looked blank. “My what?”Carlos
laughed. “Deloris, Jack’s mom. She was so impressed
meeting such a well mannered and handsome young man–her words–that she hasn’t
stopped talking about it. When Jack told her you were having dinner with us
tonight nothing would have it but she had to be included. I think she broke a
bridge date to be here.”"Uh
oh,” I said to Chip. “She’ll want to know more about your idyllic childhood in Hustledick.”"What’s
that?” he said, turning to look at me.”That’s
the place you told her you were from, remember?”"No, that other thing. Idilk.”"Idyllic?
It means peaceful and happy.”He
gave me a look. “Well it wasn’t. It was more like
miserable and nasty.”Carlos
put his hand on Chip’s shoulder. “Well, don’t tell her that, please. She likes
you and wants to think of you as a perfect young man with a perfect childhood.
When you get old like she is you don’t want to think about all the bad things
so you make them out to be nice. Let her have her illusions.”Chip
sat quietly for a while, thinking it out. Finally he nodded to himself and
asked Carlos what we were having for dinner. Carlos, of course, had no idea.At
the house Chip hugged Jack like he had known him all
his life. After my hug Jack sent us all out to the patio, asking if we were
hungry. Naturally Chip said he was.”Light
snack coming up. Then you’ll have at least an hour to swim before Carlos has to
go and get mother.” While we arranged ourselves around the umbrella table he
disappeared into the kitchen and was back before we were settled. He brought
Ice cold beers for us, a Coke and a plate of sandwiches
for Chip.Before
we knew it Chip had eaten, drunk, stripped and was in the pool, pretending, I
think, he was a seal. The rest of us caught up on each other’s Young Lolita lives but I
noticed that Young Lolita Jack’s eyes were often on Chip.”Do
they all grow this fast?” he asked. “Look at him, I swear his muscles are noticeably  bigger
than when he was here last.” He looked at me. “What do you do, make him scrub
floors and move furniture?”I
laughed. “No, he’s quite enamored with one of the trainers at the gym and the
guy’s making him work very hard to get him over it. It’s backfiring though.”Jack’s
eyes Young Lolita
went back to Chip who was doing backstroke laps but he said to me, “How’s
Chip insists the guy show him and do it with him. Bob–the trainer–has put on
almost as much muscle as Chip and is–to all the guys–looking marvelous. He now
has a following.”Carlos
smiled. “Kids often have a way of doing that, making us adults better than we
were. Is it working on you, Dan?”For
a moment I didn’t understand the question. When it sank in I nodded. “I think
so, actually. He’s got me going to the gym fairly often, made me lead a more
regular life, and even concentrate better to some degree. Yeah, I think he has
made me better than I was. I don’t drink as much, either.”"Well,
I hope you can still make a mean martini,” Jack said, not looking at me.
“Mother would be so disappointed if she had to drink one of Carlos’s.”"It’s
all psychological,” Carlos said. “I make a martini exactly as you do but it
isn’t the same according to her. You seem to have the magic touch.”We
shot the breeze for another hour before Jack decided it was time to get his
mother. “Why don’t you and Carlos go,” he said. “I have things to do here and
I’ll keep an eye on the young man.”Carlos
laughed. “That’s for sure! If I didn’t know you better I’d say you were quite
taken with our Chip.”"Oh,
I am. In the same way I’m taken with that young movie star, what’s
his name, and that Bernini fountain we saw in Rome. They are so very beautiful to look at,” he sighed
theatrically, “but never to touch. That would ruin it all, kill the illusion.”
He got up and began clearing the table. “So you boys run along and get mother
and I’ll get things organized here. And you, young man,” he called to Chip, “no
diving unless I’m right here. Okay?”Chip
waved from the deep end where he was practicing floating on his back.”Well,
get him out and dressed pretty soon,” Carlos said. “I know your mother wants to
see him but I doubt she wants to see all of him.”When
we got back with Deloris, Chip, handsome in his cowboy clothes, opened the car
door for her and helped her out of the car. “It’s very nice to see you again
Ma’am,” he said as though he said ma’am all the time.”Well,
it’s nice to see you too,” she said as he escorted her into the house. “And I
hope your father is making sure you don’t go all scruffy like so many young men
went out to the patio where Jack had set up a small bar and laid out some
canapés. As I began the martini mixing ritual Deloris said to Chip, “You know,
I’ve talked to several old friends and none have heard of Hustledick, Oklahoma. Just…”Chip
cocked his head. “Excuse me, Ma’am?”I
wondered how he was going to get out of this and so did Jack
and Carlos. Each of us stopped what he was doing to listen.”Hustledick. The town you came from. Last time you told me…”"Oh
Ma’am, I am sorry,” Chip said with great sincerity. “I must have misspoken. No,
the town is called Hedrick. But I wouldn’t be surprised if your friends haven’t
heard of it. It’s a very small town in Jackson county, maybe ten miles from
the Texas border.”"Oh,
no dear,” Deloris said, patting him on the arm, “it’s more likely that I
misheard. Our ears sometimes fail us as we get older.”Carlos,
accepting one of my martinis, shook his head and said, very quietly, “The boy
is fast on his feet, I’ll say that for him.”I
served the rest of the drinks and conversation turned to other subjects. Chip
stood by Jack, helping him with the steaks he was grilling and Jack, bless his
heart, kept up a running commentary that amounted to a class on grilling.I
couldn’t help wondering where Chip came up with Hedrick. It occurred to me that
maybe he really did come from Oklahoma, maybe even Hedrick and what looked to me like his
search to find a southern state was merely a search to find a different
southern state and it had failed. I wondered but I knew I wasn’t going to ask.
If Chip ever got ready to tell me about his past then he would. Otherwise I’d
probably never know.After
dinner Carlos and I took Deloris home while Chip stayed to help Jack with the
dishes, just as he’d done the first time we’d stayed with them. After seeing
Deloris safely inside her condo Carlos got back in the car and looked at me
quizzically. I shook my head. “We may never know, Carlos.”Carlos
sighed and started the car. “No, I suppose you’re right. But how the hell did
he come up with Hedrick, Oklahoma? There is such a place you know. Right near the Texas border. I looked it up when I went to the bathroom,
before dinner.”"I
figured there must be. He’s smart enough to know that if she checked once,
she’ll check again. What I don’t know is if he worked this out before we came
or if it was just off the top of his head.”Carlos
smiled. “Either way it speaks well for him. You two doing
thought about it. “You know Carlos, I think we are. I guess it’s too soon to
say for certain but we seem to be functioning as a family, a fairly functional
one. He has some little habits that drive me up Young Lolita the wall sometimes and I’m sure
I have some that drive him nuts. But we cope.”"How’s
he like school?”"You
know, I think he does. He grumbles about the math and English but he’s working
at it. But it’s only been a couple of weeks. This one’s going to take some
started to say something then seemed to think better of it.”No,
that’s all right. Ask away.”Carlos
looked at me. “You two still sleeping together? You
don’t have to say if you don’t want to. I know it’s none of my business.”I
laughed. “Hey, my life, Chip’s life, both are your
business. Never lie to your doctor. And in answer to your question, yes, we’re
sleeping together. But that’s all it is, sleeping. It was one of his conditions
for staying on with me, you know, after that crazy guy was killed.”"Conditions?”I
explained to him how we had worked out our living together. He said he thought
we were being pretty adult about it, both of us.Jack
and Chip had finished the dishes by the time we returned and I turned down the
offer of a nightcap. They looked relieved and we all went to bed.Just
before we went to sleep Chip put his hand Young Lolita on my arm and said, “Thanks Dad. For Jack and Carlos and Deloris, too. They’re good.”In
the morning I awoke to find Chip watching me and grinning. He greeted me with , “You know Dad, you gotta
get out more.”I
yawned and stretched. “What’s that Young Lolita
supposed to mean?”"Look
at yourself. You definitely need… well, something.”I
looked down. My erection was clearly visible under the sheet. I resisted the
impulse to cover it, knowing that if I did Chip would never let me live it
down. “You don’t wake up that way?”He
laughed. “Of course I do, all guys do, but most of us also do something about
it. Look, I got to go to the bathroom and then I think I’ll have a shower.
Plenty of time for you to, uh, do what ever you need
to do.”He
threw the sheet back, uncovering both of us, and hopped out of bed. “Wow,” he
said, looking at me, “you got a nice one. Really grows too. I never would have
looked at him and deliberately ran my eyes up and down his body. “You don’t.”He
looked down at himself. “Don’t what?”"Don’t
grow a whole lot. But as I’m sure you’ve noticed, it’s still bigger than mine. Now go shower.”He
went into the bathroom and ostentatiously closed the door.Although
I was a little afraid that he’d jump out of the bathroom right in the middle of
it, I took his advice. I guess he was right about not getting out enough
because it took no time at all and I couldn’t control it. I just went up to the
top and fell over, not the way I usually do, keeping myself just at the edge
for as long as I can. By the time the shower shut off I was finished, wiped up
and out of bed. I
knocked on the bathroom door. “May I come in? I need to pee. Bad.”He
threw the door open, still dripping wet. “Sure,” he said, “jump in the shower.
If you want to shave I left my razor in there too.”After
my shower and dressed, I wandered out to the patio to find Chip naked in the
pool and Carlos drinking coffee, watching him. When he saw me Carlos pointed to
a thermos and some cups. “Coffee
there, help yourself.” He looked back at Chip. “Is it
difficult having such a beautiful young man around the house all the time?”"I’m
getting used to it,” I said, taking my coffee to sit next to him. “But you
don’t know the half of it. He’s that way nearly all the time. Naked I mean. He
does put something on when someone’s there, like Mickey or you guys. I even
talked him into wearing some sort of shirt at the dinner table but otherwise,
nothing.” I shrugged. “I guess it’s like having a really wonderful painting in
your home. You get great pleasure out of really looking at it but you take it
for granted most of the time.”Carlos
laughed. “You’re learning from him. You just shrugged exactly the way he does.
It’s rather charming. Ah, here comes Jack with some food.”After
breakfast we helped Jack in the garden, weeding and cultivating. It was a bore
for him but I think both Chip and I really enjoyed it. It’s not often we get to
get our hands in the soil and enjoy the sun on our backs. Three
hours later Jack pronounced himself happy with the results so Chip washed his
hands and went back to the pool. I took another shower. After that they drove
us back to the city and we took them to a late lunch at one of the better gay café’s.The
next couple of weeks passed pretty much as we wanted them to. Chip woke every
morning at exactly the same time so we dispensed with the alarm clock. I
prepared breakfast and made him eat it. He went to school and I went to my
study where my book was coming along well. Chip came home around three, foraged
in the refrigerator and did his homework. We had dinner–sometimes delivered
pizza when my muse wouldn’t let me go on time–read, watched TV and went to bed.
On weekends we went to the gym and always went out to breakfast on Sunday. It
was a good, comfortable life and we enjoyed it and each other.*****************************************The
man was on the very edge. He couldn’t eat much and snapped at everyone. He had
night sweats and awful dreams that afterward he couldn’t remember. He endured
it for as long as he could before he laid his head on the
alter and pled with God.God
said okay.*****************************************One
Thursday while we were doing the dishes Chip said he’d probably come home later
than usual the next day. One of his friends at school wanted to learn to play
video games and Chip had promised to take her to the J.P. I told him to Young Lolita have a
good time and be home by five thirty or six and not spend his whole allowance in one afternoon. I
expected an argument about the time but he just nodded.He
was home right on time.”You
have fun?”He
ignored the question with, “Women can’t do anything!”"They
can have babies. You can’t do that.”He
waived that away as irrelevant. “Well, they sure can’t do video games. She was
so terrible. Her highest score on Space Slime was four hundred thousand
points.” He made a 
face, not a pretty one. “I can do that in the first two minutes.
BJ can do it in the first thirty seconds. Geeze!”"See
anyone you know?”He
thought for a moment. “Not really. I guess they all went to Chicago when…” He stopped and seemed to turn inward, on
himself. “You know. The crazy…”I
pulled him into a hug. “Yes, I know. But that’s behind us. Behind
decided to go out for Chinese food which for Chip is an entire cuisine of
comfort food.The
next day, when we came home from the gym there was a message on the answering
machine. “It’s from that reporter guy. He wants you to call him. Right away,”
he said looking in the freezer for ice cream. He turned and grinned at me. “He
sounded horny.”Hoping
Chip Young Lolita
was right I called him right back. He wasn’t horny.”Chip there?”"Yeah, why?”"I’m
coming right over. Don’t let him go out. You either.” He hung up.Chip
was on the kitchen stool eating ice cream out of the carton. “You might want to
put something on. Brian’s on his way over.”He
grinned again. “Boy, he must be really horny. I’ll just make myself scarce and
you guys can have the bedroom.”"He’s
not horny Chip. I think he’s worried. He wants to talk to us both.”He
kept his cool but I did see him gulp. “What about?”"I
don’t know. Just go put some pants on and we’ll see.”Chip
was hardly dressed when the door bell rang. Chip looked through the peep hole,
the first time he’d done that in weeks, and opened the door.We
shook hands and when I offered him coffee or a drink he shook his head. “None
of the hospitality bull-shit,” he said. “Just sit down.”Chip
sat on the couch and something told me to sit next to him.”Well,”
Brian said, “Yesterday they finally identified that guy. The one we thought
killed those kids? He turned out to be a sick old homeless guy, just passing
through. They finally identified him from some fingerprints and records at the Veterans Hospital.”Chip
turned pale. “Then he wasn’t… Wasn’t…”Brian
looked sadly at him. “No. And worse. There was a kid,
a hustler called Pretty Boy. He was killed last night, same M.O. as those
others. Stabbed and his dick and balls cut off.”I
put my arm around Chip. He was shaking. “Do the police have any leads?”Brian
shook his head. He turned back to Chip. “You know this guy, this Pretty Boy?”Chip
shook his head but then stopped, thinking. I could see it was all Brian could
do not to prod him but he gritted his teeth and kept silent.Finally:
“There was a guy who sometimes hung out with BJ and Fuzzy. Mostly
Fuzzy.” He stopped and looked up at the corner where the ceiling and the
walls met. “Short. Not fat but…”Brian
offered, “Stocky?”Chip
didn’t look at him. “Stocky. Sort of long hair. Light
brown. I think he always wore boots. At least whenever I saw
a kind of catsup red now but the rest is accurate. When did
you see him last?”"Before. Before I came here.” He wasn’t shaking anymore but he seemed
to be slipping into a trance, his voice even and devoid of and emotion. “Did
he hang out at the J.P?” I asked quietly.He
started to shake his head and then whispered, “Oh my God.”Brian
leapt out of his chair and kneeled in front of Chip. “What?”"He
was there.” His voice began to take on some color and seemed stronger. “At the
J.P. Yesterday when I was…” He stood up. “Wait,” he
threw over his shoulder as he left the room.Brian
looked at me. “What’s…”"I
don’t know,” I said, “but he’s obviously on to something. You want that coffee
nodded. “What I really want is a drink but I guess it’ll have to be coffee for
now. Can I help?”He
followed me into the kitchen and watched as I measured out the coffee and put
the water on the stove. I told him about Chip’s visit to the J.P, skipping the
part about the girl. Just as the water came to a boil Chip came into the room
with a piece of paper.”This him?
Pretty Boy?” He handed the paper to Brian who nodded.
“He’s lost weight, grown some. I didn’t recognize him with the red hair.”I
poured the coffee and Chip went to the refrigerator and took out a Coke, his
second for the day. Back in the living room we sat and stared at each other.
Finally Brian pointed at Young Lolita
the drawing and asked Chip if Pretty Boy had been with
was a long silence before Chip gave a slow, tentative nod. “Maybe.
There was this guy sort of hanging around, looking at guys. I don’t know.”Brian
looked at his watch and stood. “Got to Young Lolita go. Got a meeting down at police headquarters. You stay here.
I’ll be back.”Once
he’d left Chip pulled my arm back around himself. “What now?”I
didn’t have the vaguest notion what now and said Young Lolita so. Then it struck me. “Chip? Could you make a drawing of this guy, the one who was
hanging around?”Chip
gave that unconscious shrug of the shoulders and left the room, going down to
his study. I picked up the coffee things, took them to the kitchen and washed
them. After that I was at loose ends. Finally I went down to Chip’s room and,
since the door was open, asked if I could come in. He waved me in with a
gesture that reminded me of an boss I’d once had; the
way he’d invited you in when he was concentrating on something else.I
sat on his couch and watched him draw. Several
hours later, around seven, the door bell rang. It was Brian, bearing two large
pizzas, garlic bread and a six-pack of cold beer. “I didn’t know what kind you
like,” he said carrying the food into the kitchen, “so I got a pepperoni and a
combination. Hope that’s alright.”Chip
must have smelled the pizza because he immediately appeared at the door. “I’m
starved,” he said. “What kind?”It
turned out that it really didn’t matter because if it was pizza Chip liked it.
We sat around the kitchen table and had pizza and beer. I even let Chip have a
beer but he didn’t drink much of it. I don’t think he even liked it–for all of
his earlier bravado.While
we ate Brian told us about the meeting and how for all the
talk there wasn’t much action. He’d suggested they keep a watch on the
J.P. and a guy from Vice said they already did and he’d tell his men Young Lolita
to keep a
sharper eye out. “I don’t know why Vice was even at the meeting and I’m not
sure why they’re watching the J.P. If anyone it should be the Narc squad.” He turned to Chip. “You come up with anything
He pushed his chair back and left the table.Brian
looked quizzically at me and I shrugged. “It’s his way. Just wait.”Chip
came back and handed Brian a piece of paper. “That’s the guy. The one hanging around.”Brian
stared at the paper for a Young Lolita minute and said, “I know this guy. In fact I just had
a meeting with him. It’s Barkin, the guy from Vice.
He must have drawn the `keeping-an-eye-out’ duty.”Chip
went around behind Brian and studied the drawing for a bit. “Wait,” he said and
left the room.He
came back, armed with a pencil. He picked up the pizza boxes and put them on
the counter. Then, sitting right next to Brian, he began to draw on the figure,
adding a moustache, thick glasses, bushy eyebrow, a
goatee. When he was finished he sat back and looked expectantly at Brian.Brian
stared at the picture Young Lolita for fully half a minute before the light dawned. “Oh,
shit. It’s him. The first one, the
guy who got you.”I
went around the table and looked. It was him alright.
The man in the picture Chip had drawn of his attacker.Brian
looked at his watch. “Too late for tonight, for the guy I want.” He turned to
Chip, “Could you do this drawing again, without the glasses and stuff?” Chip
nodded. “Okay, if you can make several of them. Then, tomorrow, I want to bring
a couple of guys around to see you do what you just did.”"Cops?”Brian
looked him square in the eye. “One. A
good guy. Won’t even ask your name, I guarantee it. The other’s my
editor. He’ll bring a copy of your original drawing.”Chip
looked at me.”I
think we have to, this time,” I said. Chip
gave a dubious nod.”Yes,
you have to,” Brian said. “If we can convince these people we should be able to
get a warrant sworn out. A warrant to search Barnin’s home and car. If we do, there’ll be
something, some clue that’ll point to him. And then we’ll have him.” He looked
at Chip with sad eyes, “And those young guys, they’ll be a little safer.” He
paused for it to sink in. “So yes, you have to.”After
Brian had gone Chip went into his study and sat working at his drawing table. I
left him alone and went into my study to try and read. After ten minutes or so
Chip came in and asked me if I would come and read in his room. I did but
didn’t get much reading done. Mostly I just sat there on his couch, watching
him concentrate on drawing. About eleven he stood up and stretched.”It’s
late,” I said, “time for bed.”He
nodded and pointed at the drawings. “I made four of them. Is that okay?”I
told him it was and we went into the bedroom. “You need a shower,” I said. He
sniffed his armpit and nodded. Then he came up to me and made a big production
of sniffing me.”So
do you.” He turned on his heel and went into the bathroom.I
sniffed my own armpit and agreed with him. We both smelled odd, smelled of
fear. I undressed and waited my turn in the shower.Once
in bed he put his hand on my arm and pretended to go right to sleep, but I knew
better. He was thinking about the crazy and about meeting with a cop tomorrow.
I became drowsy, beginning to slip into sleep when I realized something was
wrong. Chip was beginning to shake.When
I realized he was silently crying I pulled up on my side and gathered him into
my arms. “It’s going to be all right,” I whispered. “All
right.” He clung to me, pressing himself against me
and burying his head in my pillow. I rubbed his back
and made what I hoped were calming noises.When
his breathing evened out he made no move to pull away from me, rather he put
his arm around me and Young Lolita
pulled himself closer, if that was possible. He gave a
deep sigh and seemed to go to sleep. I
held him that way for most of the Young Lolita night. It was around five I think when I woke
up to find one arm, the one under him, numb. When I moved it out so the blood
could flow again he mumbled something and humped me a couple of times before he
settled back into sleep. It was then that I realized we were both rigidly
erect. I found the feel of his hard dick pressed against mine mildly sensual
but at the same time not particularly erotic. It was Chip, a boy I loved
deeply, a boy I would give up my life for but nonetheless a boy. Chip
awoke around seven. He opened his eyes, looked in my eyes and kissed me on the
mouth. “Thanks, Dad,” he whispered but made no move to pull away.”It’s
what family does, Son.” I kissed him and asked if he knew what time it was.”Seven-thirteen, why?”"Well,
I don’t know what time Brian and his editor will get here but I’m willing to
bet it’ll be early. We should probably be ready for them.”He
slowly moved away enough to stretch and yawn. “I guess. I got to pee anyway.”He
got out of bed, completely heedless of the fact that he was still more than
half Young Lolita erect. As I watched him disappear into the bathroom my Young Lolita own words echoed in
my mind: It’s what family does.Dressed–well
I was dressed, he was wearing nothing but a pair of jeans–and in the kitchen he
went to the refrigerator and got a Coke while I was pouring my coffee. He
looked at the Coke, shook his head and put it back. “Can I have some coffee?”
he asked, getting a cup from the shelf.”Sure.”
I poured and he took it over to the counter where the sugar is. He reached for
the sugar and then stopped, looking at me. “I guess that’s why Bob doesn’t
think I should drink so much Coke. The sugar.”"And the caffeine. There’s a lot more of it in that can of Coke than in
that cup of coffee. Put some milk in it if it’s Young Lolita too bitter.”He
shook his head. “I’ll drink it this way. Like guys do. What’s to eat?”He
had some cold cereal and milk but didn’t get to finish it before the door bell
was Brian and two other men, one older and dressed in a suit and tie, one
looking to be around twenty-five and dressed in Western boots, tight jeans and
a tee shirt celebrating Pablo Picasso. Brian introduced the older one as Mr.
Wilds, his editor. The younger one introduced himself as Joe.Chip
came out of the bedroom where Young Lolita
he’d gone to put Young Lolita on a shirt. His body language
said frightened and his facial expression said defiant. Again, Brian introduced
his editor and Joe introduced himself, holding out his hand for a shake. To my
surprise Chip shook it. Then he looked him up and down.”You the cop?”Joe
nodded. “Detective Joseph Miller, Jr.” He saluted
Chip. “At your service.”"You
got a gun?”The
cop grinned and held his arms out from his body. “You see any gun?”Chip
looked squarely at the man’s crotch. “I guess not.”Joe
let his arms fall to his side and managed to look disappointed. “Not even a
little one?”Chip
cocked his head and smiled. “Well, maybe a little one.”Mr.
Wilds, who probably didn’t see the point of Joe’s little exercise, said, “Let’s
get on with it. We don’t have all day.Brian
took charge. “Okay. Mr. Wilds, you brought the original drawing this man made
of his attacker?”Mr.
Wilds produced a sheet of paper and handed it to Joe who studied it for a
moment and then looked up expectantly.Brian
held up one of the sheets I’d given him when he came in. “This is a drawing of
the man seen at the J.P, hanging around Pretty Boy.” He passed the drawing to
Mr. Wilds who looked and passed it to Joe.”"Hey,
this is…” He stopped himself and looked at Chip and then at Brian. “He saw this
man with that boy?”Brian
nodded and took the drawing from Joe and handed it to Chip. “Can you show us
what your attacker looked like?”Chip
nodded and kneeled down at the coffee table. He took a pencil and began to draw
on the sheet of paper, Joe standing over him and watching every pencil stroke.
Before he was even finished Joe muttered, “Well I’ll be damned. I never would
Wilds went over and looked. “It is. It’s Barnin. And
we’ve been feeding him… Jesus!”Joe
straightened up. “Okay. I’m convinced. Now we have to convince Judge Harris.”
He looked at Chip who was just finishing. “Can you do that again? For the judge?”"In a court?
At that justice place?” He stopped,
a look of panic on his face. “No.”Joe
put his hand on Chip’s shoulder. “That place scare
you? It’s all right. It scares me, too. A lot.” He
paused, thinking. “Okay, I tell you what. I know Judge Harris pretty well.
Maybe, just maybe I can get him to come here. Could you do it for him here?”Chip
got himself under control and looked at me. I smiled and nodded.”Okay.
Yeah, I could do it that way.”Joe
asked for the phone and I put him in my study. Then I made more coffee and dug
some cookies that Chip hadn’t found yet out of the freezer. Conversation was
strained and quickly drained away. Mr. Wilds kept looking at his watch and
finally wondered what was taking so long. When
Joe reappeared he was smiling. “Took some doing but I convinced the old bird.
I’m going over to get him now.” He looked at Chip. “Keep those drawing fingers
limber, young man.”I
saw the flash in Chip’s eyes and wondered if we were in trouble. “My name is
Chip, not young man.”Joe
went to him and offered his hand. “Very pleased to meet you, Chip. I’ll be
right back.”Brian
went and sat beside Chip. “Don’t be mad at him. Like I
said I would, I told him he couldn’t ask you anything, even your name. He
respected that, that’s all.”While
we waited, Chip went to sleep, Mr. Wilds read the paper and Brian amused
himself by staring intently at my crotch. I had no idea you could do that but,
against my will, I began to get hard. By the time the door bell rang I couldn’t
get out of the chair. Brian grinned and answered it for me.Judge
Harris was introduced all around and by the time he got to me I was able to
stand up without tenting my pants. The judge was an affable old guy who, I
later found out, was Joe’s grand uncle. He was also very sharp eyed and shrewd.
It didn’t take long for Chip to show him how the man in the drawing and the
attacker were the same man. In thirty minutes the search warrants were signed
and everyone Young Lolita had left, Brian to the paper, Mr. Wild to a luncheon party, Judge
Harris to a golf game and Joe to the police building where he would supervise
the search.**********************************************The
man awoke to the sounds of cars in the driveway. Instinctively he knew who it
was. He got out of bed, took his gun from it’s holster
and crept up to the front window. He didn’t bother to dress. He knew it was
over and he wanted to go to God as he had come.The
men outside were pounding on the door. The man told them to stop or he’d kill
them. The
phone rang. He answered and told them not to call back. When it rang again he yanked
it from the wall and threw it through one of the side windows.He
went to the alter and prayed. God told him Young Lolita it was over, he’d done the work well and now would be taken into
God’s embrace. He laid his head on the alter and
without warning the feeling came over him, the warmth in his gut. He looked
down the barrel of the gun and when the eruption of pleasure began he pulled
the trigger.*********************************************When
I asked Chip what he wanted to do he had a one word answer, “Sleep.” He went
into the bedroom, took off his clothes and crawled into bed. He was asleep
almost instantly.Left
to my own devices I tried to work on the book but couldn’t concentrate. I kept
wondering what was going on out there, what would the police find. I gave up on
the book, rejected the notion of going to bed and ended up in the kitchen where
I spent the rest of the day at the stove.I
watched the six
o’clock news and they hinted
at a major police action going on but they had no details. The phone rang a
little after seven.It
was Brian and he sounded terrible. He asked if he could come
over, tell us what happened. I said yes.A
sleepy eyed Chip came out of the bedroom. “Who was that?”"Brian.
He didn’t tell me anything but he’s on his way over.”Chip
went back into the bedroom and then I heard the shower running. When he came
out he was in this morning’s jeans but with a clean tee shirt. Brian arrived
shortly thereafter and looked as bad as he’d sounded on the phone.I
poured Brian a scotch on the rocks and made one for myself, lighter and with
soda. Chip, bless Young Lolita his heart, went and got some grapefruit juice. We sat in the
living room, Brian and Chip on the couch and me in my wing chair. After Brian
had swallowed fully half his drink he told us the story.”First
of all,” he said, “it was gruesome and horrible. I wasn’t there at the
beginning but Joe said it went pretty well. They figured Barnin
was home because his car was there but when they knocked nobody answered. I
guess they yelled out that they were the police or something. Anyway, Barnin was in there and Young Lolita he yelled through the door that
he’d kill any man who tried to come through.”The
cops going through the car found a lot of poorly cleaned up blood stains
especially under the front seat, right where a knife could be concealed and the
driver could easily grab it.”Chip
nodded. “That’s where it came from.”Brian
put his hand on Chip’s shoulder. “This isn’t easy for you, is it? I’m sorry but
it gets worse.” He looked back Young Lolita at me. “I guess they surrounded the place and
spent a lot of time talking to him through the bullhorn. He wouldn’t answer the
phone and finally ripped it out of the wall and threw it through a window.
Then, when they were getting ready to storm the place they heard a gunshot from
inside. They kicked the front door in.”I
don’t know all of what happened next but they finally went in. Joe said the
place was a terrible mess. Then they found him and that was the worst part.
That’s the part I Young Lolita
got up and freshened his drink. “How
did you get to see it?” Chip asked.”Joe
called me, said I had to see it before it was all taken apart. It was the most
terrible thing I’ve ever seen. The room was set up as a sort of chapel or
shrine with lit candles all over the place and an altar against one wall. There
was even a big crucifix and a photograph of some older guy Young Lolita who I Young Lolita guess was
supposed to be God. The altar was covered with cloth, like a runner on a table
only this was white silk. Not so white any more because it was covered with Barnin’s blood. He’d knelt at that altar, with his chin on
it I think, and shot himself squarely between the
eyes. And, God help us, there was fresh semen on the floor. He shot himself
while he was having an orgasm.”That
knocked me over. The orgasm of death, the ultimate orgasm.
I couldn’t imagine it. “It must have been horrible, Brian, horrible.”Brian
shook his head. “No, it was bad but nothing like what came next. That made me run outside and lose my cookies. See, all
around this room, this shrine, were niches, lit from below. In the niches were…
were these bottles of preserved genitals. All the… all
the things he’d cut off of those boys.”Chip
left the room and we heard him in the bathroom, throwing up. We were silent
until he came back, his face white as the wash cloth he was carrying. “How many?”Brian
held his glass out. “Please?” Then he turned to Chip. “Thirty. Maybe more. I didn’t count. This had been going on for a
long time.”I
poured and handed him his drink. “Those poor young men.
How could anyone do something as terrible as that?”"Someone very sick. So sick that every bottle had a
name on it. Dawgie, Sly, Buzz, all of them
named. And empty ones too, Young Lolita but with names, like he
knew who the next ones were going to be. Joe showed them to me. Rod. Meat. Dusty.”Chip
went back to the bathroom. I went in and held his head. “It’s okay now, Chip.
It’s okay. It’s over and he’ll never be able to do it again.” Chip began to sob
and I held him close to me until his retching turned into hiccups. Then I got a
wet towel and wiped his face When I helped him up he
staggered and I had to support him. I tried to put him to bed but he insisted
on going back to the living room and being with Brian and me.We
talked intermittently but mostly we stared as the floor, each of us lost in his own thoughts. Finally Brian looked at Chip and asked if
he was hungry. Chip hesitated, probably thinking he shouldn’t be, and nodded.
It was then that I remembered the steaks that I had marinating and the special
sauce I’d prepared that afternoon. But it was too much just then. I went into
the kitchen, put everything in the refrigerator and dug around in the junk
drawer for the Chinese take-out menu.Brian
paid the delivery man on the theory, he said, that he’d eventually get the
steak dinner. It broke some of the tension and we actually chuckled. Chip
laughed, but like he was on the verge of hysteria. After
dinner–and we ate all of the food–there seemed little of consequence to say
that hadn’t been said before. I asked Chip if he didn’t want to go to bed. He
nodded and left the room like a zombie. Brian gave me a weak smile. “He needs
you, Dan. You’d better go with him.” He paused for a long time and I could tell
he had more to say. Finally, it came out. “Dan? Could I stay here tonight? I… I
just don’t want to be alone. On the couch?”I
told him he was welcome to be with us and went to get him some sheets and a
blanket. When the couch was made up and he’d used the bathroom I kissed him
goodnight. When
I got into bed Chip sleepily asked if Brian had left. “No.
He’s on the couch. Like us, he didn’t want to be alone just now. You mind?”Chip
settled into his pillow and put his hand on my arm. “No. But I’m glad you’re
here.” He drifted off to sleep.We
both–actually all three of us–slept well that night, I think because we knew
that particular danger was past. Chip was the first one up in the morning and
both Brian and I woke to the best alarm clock in the world, the smell of fresh
coffee. When I went out to the living room Brian was just getting out of bed.
Chip looked him up and down.”You
don’t have to do that you know.”Brian
looked at him. “What?”"Wear
your clothes to bed.”Brian
looked down at his stripped boxer shorts. “Well, I thought…”Chip
gave him that you-don’t-know-anything look of his. “Look, guy, you don’t have
anything he,” nodding at me, “hasn’t seen before and I don’t care.” He
dismissed the subject and went into the kitchen. Brian
looked at me and grinned. “Is he always like that in the morning?”"Which
do you mean? Naked or outspoken? Actually, most of the
time around here he’s both. It’s him. Bother you?”Brian
shook his head and slipped his boxers off. “Not at all.
It’s the way I am most of the time around the house.”"Not
when I came over. You were dressed quite nicely, at least for a minute there.”He
leaned in and kissed me. “I thought if I answered the door naked you’d run like
hell. I thought I was going to have to seduce you. Turned out I was wrong.”Chip
saved him from my retort by coming out of the kitchen eating toast with peanut
butter and jam. And
that was the real beginning, the tentative start of a family. In the end it
worked out well for all of us.************************************************We’re
going to leave them now, to let them live a more normal life. No life is
completely made up of conflict and the stuff of novels; the body couldn’t
function with that much adrenalin sloshing around in it all the time. So Chip and Dan and Brian are going to build a family Young Lolita
and a
life that turns out to be kind of like most lives, Young Lolita full of little
accomplishments, defeats, joys and disappointments. We’ll leave them to it.Thanks
to everyone who took the time and trouble to write to me about this story. I’m
glad you enjoyed Young Lolita it. There will be others.Greg Bowdenjg.psgte.

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